Why Diets Don't Work
Reality check: There is no correct or right weight to be.
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It can take a lot of unlearning and a huge amount of self-compassion to begin questioning the messages around food and body that we have spent most of our lives internalizing (not to mention what has been passed down generationally). Diet culture can make you feel like a stranger in your own body, in your home, in the world, and even in your mother’s womb.
Diet culture is so entrenched that it is not uncommon for parents, nurses, doctors and educators to comment on unborn babies and little kiddies who are at a higher weight. People are getting body shamed before they are even born. Diet culture is so deep in our psyches that people do not even know how to question fatphobia, let alone acknowledge it.
How many of you received some comment about what you were eating, how much you ate, or received comments on your weight or appearance as a child?
Does this sound familiar: Hold in your tummy. Are you really that hungry? You’ve eaten too much. If you are a parent, one of the most important things we can do is to let go of our need to police or control our child’s body, as well as measuring our own success as parents by our ability to do that. And who of you saw your parents comment about their own body size around you and/or engaging in diet or fitness behaviour, such as excessive exercise, portioning food, or only eating the salad whilst everyone else had pizza.
Truth: Diet culture is everywhere.
what diets don’t tell you
So many of us have gone round and round the diet culture train. And since it’s the beginning of 2022, I’m sure most of us have seen our fair share of New Year, New You diet/cleanse/detox/fitness regime/lifestyle change. So rather than hopping on the nauseating merry-go-round again, let’s take the long-term view for a moment: some people might have a few months or even a few years of seeming success on diets, however it most likely won’t last and often causes harm in the long-run.
Indeed, up to 90% of weight-loss efforts fail within 2-5 years. In fact, up to 2/3 of people who try to shrink their bodies end up gaining more weight than they lost. This means that intentional weight loss is actually taking them in the opposite direction. And on the topic of weight cycling (ie. trying to lose weight and inevitably gaining it back), it tends to increase the risk of heart disease, mortality, some forms of cancer, and disordered eating.
Additionally, if you are restricting, rebound-eating (bingeing), or avoiding certain foods, it can result in physical symptoms like bloating, cramps, poor digestion, acne, and hormonal imbalances, because disordered eating effects your GI tract and many other systems in the body. These symptoms tend to be worse in the presence of foods you’re particularly anxious about.
Despite what diet culture tells you, it is less about what you eat, and more about how you eat.
When we are in a state of panic and anxiety around food and weight, we are activating the sympathetic nervous system which engages our flight or fight stress responses. We need this part of our nervous system to get away from danger, as well as to get out of bed in the morning and play, and go out and find food. When we get hungry, we feel agitated and that response of agitation mobilizes us to find food. When we override these feelings, our bodies continue to simulate the stress responses, which are amplified by our internal rumination, and over time this impacts our digestion.
The more stressed we are, the harder it is for our food to digest. If we are in this state for a long time, the sympathetic response may go into a dorsal response which is akin to a collapsed state. The digestive system may no longer work in this state which can lead to constipation, poor nutrient absorption, and a holding onto any food that comes in.
Ultimately, the nervous system must feel safe in order to digest food properly, and the proper digestion can only happen when the nervous system is in a relaxed, balanced and calm state.
It seems like attempting to lose weight causes more pain in the long run - and that’s the physical pain that comes with it, not to mention how it can impact on one’s emotional and mental well-being, focus, drive, career, passion, purpose, relationship and social dynamics, and spiritual/deeper connection to life. The messages of weight loss are enchanting, promising euphoric feelings and great rewards, while hiding the consequences.
What is also hidden are the systems in which the traditional health and wellness model are based upon which are ableist, racist, ageist, sexist, classist, and exclusionary. It only serves to reinforce and hold up the body hierarchy that already exists. And we know over the generations that the ideal body and hierarchy have changed over the years - just like trends.
…and now for a quick historical timeline
In the Paleolithic era, the ideal body was a woman who was curvy plus more. Featuring large breasts, large hips and a healthy stomach, it is clear that a good body equaled one that could bear many children and be strong enough to survive any environmental condition.
Enter Ancient Greece where women were portrayed with largish hips, full breasts, and a not-quite-flat stomach. During this time, there was a quest to identify the perfect, mathematical, symmetrical physical form.
In the early Renaissance era women were curvy, pale with slightly flushed cheeks, and soft, round faces. Sensuality, beauty, and fertility were highlighted in the female form.
Jumping forward to the turn of the century, to the 1890's which brought about the Gibson girl. The Gibson girl was an illustration by Charles Gibson who was attempting to define a beautiful woman of the age. She was pale, wore a tight corset, and the trend towards a thinner ideal was beginning. Spoiler alert: The Gibson girl was not actually a real person.
Between the 50s-60s saw life after the depression and World War II, and America was making money for the first time in years. People were in the mood to celebrate, and with that indulgence came a slightly fuller appearance. The hourglass figure was sought after and a large bust was strongly encouraged.
Over the course of the 60s-90s, culture began to shift. People wanted more than a house and car, and to be a housewife. Young people rebelled against the constricting ways of '50s and in came Twiggy. Just when it seemed like the ideal body couldn't get any thinner, Kate Moss came along to give Twiggy a run for "skinniest model of all time". With waif, heroin chic models in vogue, the '90s presented the thinnest feminine ideal in history.
What’s important to remember is that most historical standards of beauty were based on a drawing, a painting or construction of a man's fantasy. Now, all we have to do is add some Photoshop, making already-tiny models look unattainably perfect. 100% invented. 100% man-made. 100% social construct. 100% temporary ideal.
As we challenge oppressive beauty standards and body ideals and work on our individual and collective relationships with food and our bodies, it is also crucial to understand that those beliefs didn't just spring from thin air; they are rooted in other oppressive systems that need to be dismantled.
Freeing our body from food and weight rules means an undoing of patriarchy, sexism, racism, transphobia, and ableism. This work is intersectional.
When we “fail” at diets, let us remember that diets are entrenched in systems of oppression that are stem beyond the individual. And along with that, they are designed to fail (remember that 90%).
When we are engaging in something that is inherently oppressive and ineffective, it is not a failure of “willpower,” but a failure of diets themselves.
See if you can guide your own choices and strengthen your resolve, and anchor into self-compassion and compassion for others who are caught up in the diet cycle.
the wellness diet
The Wellness Diet (coined by Christy Harrison) refers to the sneaky, modern guise of diet culture that we see today that is supposedly about “wellness” but is actually about “performing a rarefied, perfectionistic, discriminatory idea of what health is supposed to look like.”
It may seem like weight loss isn’t the goal, however thinness is essential to fitting into the Wellness Diet’s idea of health, including youthfulness, whiteness, fitness and physical ability, and wealth. It also includes eating the “right” things and so clean eating, detoxes, panic over gluten and grains, and elimination diets are all part of the package. Demonizing some foods and styles whilst elevating others is the norm and can leave people to feel ashamed and hyper-vigilant of their food choices.
The Wellness Diet can easily slip into orthorexia, a type of eating disorder characterized by an obsession with healthy eating. This indeed happened to me and thus it seems like this form of “healthy eating” can put our mental health at risk.
And as we have explored already, the increased imposed and self-judgements that people feel about their bodies and their food choices leads to weight stigma which is actually a bigger determinant of health than actual weight or eating habits. This means that when we feel bad about ourselves it does more harm to our overall health compared to eating “unhealthy foods” and feeling good, worthy and content with who we are.
Whilst some folks with certain health conditions (e.g. celiac disease) will certainly benefit from making some changes to what they eat, most of us would benefit by exploring how disordered eating may be playing a role in our health and well-being.
Placing more emphasis on our food choices doesn’t lead to more improved health outcomes but rather a greater preoccupation and anxiety around food and our health.
a note on a changing body
A changing body means a deviation from what diet culture has deemed as acceptable. It can be so hard to accept the changes in our weight, shape and size because at the core, we all want is to belong.
To deviate from the accepted norm causes a deep-seated fear within us: a fear that we will be rejected and abandoned. It is natural to want to belong. It is unfair however to feel like we don’t belong based on our external appearance.
Weight changes, body changes, appearance changes - change is a part of human experience. Body weight naturally fluctuates for a range of intersecting, complex reasons.
Attempting to keep your body at a precise weight to feel safe, okay and secure, means you will be investing an incredible amount of time and energy.
Body weight is less controllable than diet culture tells you.
When your weight changes and you perceive it as negative, be curious about it, rather than immediately attempting to take control and bashing yourself down with “It’s my fault, I’m a failure”.
And a note on double standards: The “Dad Bod” never opened up to the “Mom Bod”. And why is that?
moving away from diets results in a looking inwards
Over and above the fact that diets don’t work, they also steal our energy, focus and spark. Whilst we spend all the time that we have on planning meals, exercising, avoiding social gathering, comparing bodies and other people’s food choices, we no longer have the mental space to do things that we value and truly enjoy.
Diet culture keeps us from living in alignment with our values. It robs us from our creative energy. It clogs up our capacity to live out our purpose. Opportunities to help and serve the world pass us by.
If you were no longer dieting or wrapped up in body shame, what would you do with your time, space, money and mental energy?
As we separate ourselves from diet culture, we find that there is more time for self-reflection. There is a movement from an external orientation to an internal orientation. In this process, we may find our own internalised fat phobia and weight bias, which are crucial to face and reflect on as we free ourselves from the grips of diet culture.
The more we go inwards, we will come up against and can look at self-limiting beliefs, self-judgements, feelings towards our bodies (shame, guilt, anger), and become clear on our values and virtues, and our passions and purpose. Rather than trying to be perfect and polished, we can be human, real and vulnerable.
Like any addiction, and eating disorder is the belief in something external (something outside) can fix suffering that we feel within. We cannot solve the problem of addiction with addictive thinking. Recovery is a true overhaul of change of internal beliefs, thoughts, emotions and actions. The only way out of diet culture, eating disorders and disordered eating is through, that is the entanglements that got you there in the first place.
Connect with the Why – why do you want to recover, and what will it take for the eating disorder to let go of you?
do you feel the call to step out of diet culture?
Moving away from diet culture can be challenging especially when we are all already swimming in it. But if you feel called, with the practice of self-compassion and equanimity, ask yourself: How does your current relationship with food and body affect you (mentally, emotionally, physically)?
Can you envision a life free from fixation on food or weight? What does that life look like, and how do you feel living that life? What do you gain from letting diet culture go?
It is normal to feel uncertain or ambivalence. You may want freedom with food but worried about weight stigma, your health, letting go of control, or unpacking trauma.
We go in gently, slowly and with support, acknowledging that change happens through the stages of precontemplation (unaware change in possible), contemplation (pondering, gathering information), preparation (asking questions, trying on ideas), action (implementing new beliefs, thoughts and actions), and maintenance (doing what it takes to integrate this change). Change is a process. Stay for the process.
what to do instead of dieting
Let’s go over some grounding principles and resources that can be helpful when moving away from diet culture.
When feeling the anxiety around food or weight arise, zoom out. Pay attention to what you’re zooming in on, then relax the mind and zoom out. Say to yourself: “The story I am telling myself is…”
When you feel you’re going down the eating disorder rabbit hole, ask yourself: “Who would I be without this thought? Is this narrative true? What evidence do I have for it? How does it feel in my body to be free from this thought?”
Explore an array of self-care rituals that you find enjoyable, doable, balanced, have short and long-term benefits, and work towards the cultivation of the true self. Approach this list in an encouraging way rather than a pushy way. Allow the self-care rituals to evolve over time and meet you where you are at; hold it all lightly.
Keep in mind that body acceptance is a continuous process. We don’t have to love our bodies but we can accept them, or sometimes just feel neutral towards them.
Appreciate your body for their part in achieving your life accomplishments.
Find an individualized and holistic approach to recovery and health.
Create a daily practice to inspire, empower, and elevate you. Choose a daily practice that is grounded in genuine teachings that you resonate with.
Choose people, places, and positive activities that reflect the changes you wish to see in your life.
Open up to accepting help and support from positive people and loved ones.
Create healthy habits and rituals and make conscious decisions.
Listen to the body. Listening to the body is a skill many of us need to develop. Most of us experience the body through the mind which is less reliable. Listening to the body can be difficult if you have experienced trauma where the body is perceived as an unsafe place. Acknowledge where you are at with kindness and patience. I like to remember that the body doesn’t speak my primary language and so I listen in a different way, paying attention to sensations, senses, and shifts. You can respond to your body and its sensations by placing a hand gently on that area with a sense of nurture, warmth and care. If touch is too much, you can call to mind a comforting memory or emotion.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your eating or your body. Changing the subject, deflecting with a question or compliment, and/or simply leaving the room are all good ways to set boundaries.
I support and cheer each one of you who are doing this deep work. Here’s dismantling diet culture, reclaiming our bodies, finding peace and freedom with food, and committing to our heart’s calling and our soul’s purpose.
Here’s to your body of work,
Francesca Rose
Photo Unsplash