Belonging vs. Inclusion: Finding Connection in Eating Disorder Recovery Through Somatics and Psychedelics
Do You Feel Like You Belong or Are Just Included?
Understanding True Belonging in Eating Disorder Recovery
If you’re on a journey of eating disorder recovery and curious about psychedelics and somatic therapy, the concept of belonging might resonate with you. True belonging goes beyond just feeling included — it’s about embracing your authentic self without needing to conform.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on this, facing some of my own edges. You know that feeling like an unseen authority is waiting for you to perform or deliver? I felt it, too. Rather than forcing myself to create something just to "keep up," I paused. I allowed myself to soften, tapping into deeper, authentic truths.
Learning to Honor Your Natural Rhythms
In eating disorder recovery, you may discover how your body mirrors the natural rhythms of the Earth. These patterns of peaks and valleys remind us that we are inherently connected to a greater whole. For a long time, I struggled, fighting against my body’s natural ebbs and flows, trying to be "perfect." But as I began honoring these rhythms, I found peace. This realization became a pivotal part of my healing journey and somatic therapy practice.
Reconnecting with Belonging Through Psychedelic Integration
For many, plant medicine and psychedelic therapy offer profound insights, helping us remember that we belong to the Earth just as we are.
This has been one of the greatest gifts psychedelics has given me, and from what I hear from others too: this deep in-your-bones remembrance of how we are the Earth and each one of us are interconnected in this greater web, made up of the seen and unseen.
In eating disorder recovery, where feelings of isolation and shame are common, this remembrance of our inherent worth can be transformative. We belong — not because of what we do or how we look — but because we simply exist. Just like every tree, animal, or body of water, each of us has a place in this world.
As Brené Brown beautifully says, "True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are."
In recovery, learning self-acceptance and compassion is vital. When we truly accept ourselves (and belong to ourselves first), we connect authentically with others and feel safe in our own bodies in the world.
Indeed, the journey of eating disorder recovery is a process of becoming radically, courageously, compassionately accepting of ourselves. Self-acceptance is a direct pathway to belonging because when we believe that who we are is enough, worthy and deserving - unconditionally - we have the courage to show up to ourselves and in the world authentically and vulnerably.
The Difference Between Inclusion and True Belonging
For those struggling with eating disorders, this distinction can be crucial. Inclusion often means conforming to fit into society or certain groups (hello diet culture!) — through appearance, achievements, or social behaviors. Many of us adapt to these expectations, sometimes at the cost of our mental and physical health, to feel connected.
As mammals, we cannot survive without connection as such, will seek out any way to feel some form of connection even if it’s a crumb.
And as we all know, diet culture and hustle culture play into this big time! In these realities, inclusion is achieved through output and outward appearance. If someone choses to not subscribe to those rules, there are sometimes very real repercussions, where one’s sense of belonging is threatened.
So, it takes courage and the support of resonant community to stand up against these outdated and disconnected paradigms, and to shift the attention to the medicine that resides within each of us and celebrating that together.
True belonging doesn’t depend on external validation. It’s an internal state, grounded in self-trust and a sense of worthiness. It’s a powerful realization that you don’t have to perform or change to be valued.
Somatic Therapy: Building Connection with the Body
Somatic therapy is a powerful approach to healing that helps reconnect the body and mind, especially for those navigating disordered eating. By tuning into our bodies, we can shift from a state of anxiety and vigilance to one of ease and groundedness. This process helps restores our nervous systems from a defensive state to a more socially connected state.
When we are in a “social engagement” state, we are able to experience genuine connection, safety and overall regulation.
In eating disorder recovery, many find that somatic therapy helps them reframe their understanding of self-worth from a body-first, bottom-up approach, enabling a healthier, deeper relationship with both their bodies and the world around them from the inside-out.
How to Cultivate Belonging in Eating Disorder Recovery
Recognize When You’re Seeking Belonging Through Inclusion Tactics: Notice when you feel the need to "fit in." Are you changing parts of yourself to gain approval?
Connect with Nature: Ground yourself in nature. Yielding to the Earth’s rhythms reminds us of our inherent place in the world.
Embrace Your Authentic Self: Cultivate self-acceptance. As you embrace your unique identity, you’ll feel more connected and at peace.
And to each one of you reading this, I see you. We are here together, and we are doing it with each small step, focused and clear on the future we dream for ourselves, for our beloved future generations, and for the Earth.
May this future be a future where all begins feel and know that they belong.
Reflect on These Questions
How does your body respond to the statements “You belong here” vs. “You are included here”?
What parts of you feel included but not truly belonging?
How can you cultivate a sense of belonging without compromising your true self?
It’s important to remember that belonging and inclusion are different, and both are necessary parts of being human. It’s about knowing which one we are seeking and observing whether we are trying to have a substitute for the other. Sometimes we have to strategically leave parts of ourselves at the door to be included and accepted into a certain field or profession. But this doesn’t detract from your innate wholeness.
The issue we run into is when we rely on inclusion-based tactics to feel a sense of belonging, such as malnourishing ourselves to fit into cultural or familial standards. We hold back or over-amplify parts of ourselves which can lead to feelings of misalignment.
Belonging is inherent to all of us. It can never be lost. We can never be cut off from the wider web. Through it all, may we remind one another of our enoughness and be clarifying and resonant reflections for each other, allowing us to remember our innate belonging
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Let’s walk this path of recovery and self-discovery together, remembering that true belonging lies in being unapologetically ourselves.
Here’s to embracing our innate belonging.