Healing Loneliness and Self-Blame in Eating Disorder Recovery with Psychedelics
Loneliness is often deeply intertwined with eating disorders — but it isn’t just a symptom. For many, the feeling of isolation was present long before disordered eating behaviors emerged. Let’s explore the role of loneliness, self-blame, and how psychedelic-assisted healing can support the recovery journey.
Loneliness: More Than a Symptom
One of the most common themes shared by people navigating eating disorder recovery is loneliness. This isn’t a fleeting emotion but often a long-standing feeling rooted in childhood experiences. For some, it’s a feeling that has been around for as long as they can remember.
Common Beliefs Linked to Loneliness:
“No one really understands me.”
“I don’t belong here.”
“The world doesn’t see or accept me.”
These beliefs often stem from early experiences of feeling misunderstood, left out, not feeling like they fit in, or unable to connect with others. Even within loving families, systemic oppression and societal pressures (like diet culture) can amplify this sense of isolation. Many people with eating disorders are also very energetically sensitive, which makes it even more challenging to fit into a loud, fast, overstimulating world.
The Eating Disorder as a Protector
For many, eating disorder behaviors provide a sense of comfort and reliability in times of disconnection.
However, these behaviors often deepen feelings of isolation:
Social avoidance due to fear around food-centered events.
Rigid food or body rituals that limit engagement with others.
It is helpful to see that the eating disorder is the body's way of communicating about how connected or disconnected it feels in the world in ways that words cannot be expressed.
When we see the eating disorder as the body communicating with the rest of the world about its state of regulation, sense of safety and needs for attachment and connection, we begin to see a clearer path towards a more compassionate healing that is inclusive, focuses on developing a somatic sense of belonging, dignity and enoughness, and that prioritizes establishing safe, sincere connections.
Self-Blame: A Misunderstood Protector
Self-blame is another common experience for those with eating disorders.
As you journey through processing feelings of loneliness, it is possible you might come across a part of yourself that holds an enormous amount of self-blame. For people navigating eating disorders, there are often pervasive internal voices that spin heavy narrative of self-blame and self-criticism.
When there are feelings of loneliness, blaming oneself as “the problem” becomes a way to deal with the pain of feeling alone. While these internal narratives of criticism can feel heavy, they often arise as adaptive responses to pain.
These blaming and critical parts often arose during a time of incredible, intolerable pain. For example, if a young child didn't have their needs met or were ignored in some way (why this happens in the first place is usually rooted in deeper systemic issues), they may believe they are unlovable and are completely alone in the world.
This is intolerable to bear, and as such, a protector part that is highly critical may creep in.
It is more manageable to blame oneself for not being loveable and this protective part can try to do something about it by trying to be perfect, rather than sitting in the pain of not being loved and feeling alone. It is easier to swallow self-blame than trauma.
How Self-Blame Develops:
Early Pain: Experiences of developmental trauma, neglect or unmet needs can create feelings of being unlovable.
Protective Beliefs: Self-blame becomes a coping mechanism to avoid the unbearable pain of feeling unloved or alone.
Perfectionism: A critical inner voice pushes for unattainable perfection as a way to regain connection and safety.
Though self-blame initially protects us, it can entrench disordered behaviors and perpetuate a cycle of disconnection.
How Psychedelics Can Help
Psychedelic-assisted healing offers a powerful tool to address the root causes of loneliness and self-blame. By softening rigid beliefs and connecting with deeper emotions, psychedelics help facilitate profound healing.
Psychedelics have the ability to soften the critical, blaming voices that we hold towards ourselves, offering a new perspective. In that softening we can connect to what's underneath the inner harshness — which is usually the raw, tender part within us that holds that burden of hard-to-swallow-pain of feeling alone.
Slowly, we make contact. Gradually, we connect with that pain and acknowledge it. Eventually, it moves and digests. As the old pain gets digested (which takes time and has several layers), the protector parts no longer have to work so hard at blaming and criticizing, and perhaps they take on a new role, such as offering guidance on establishing healthy boundaries.
And the part of us that once held the pain of feeling all alone is acknowledged, witnessed and held — and begins to feel connected, loved and seen.
What Happens During Psychedelic Healing:
Protector Parts Rest: The critical, blaming voices step aside.
Connection to Pain: You gently reconnect with the tender parts of yourself carrying old wounds.
Emotional Integration: Suppressed pain is acknowledged, processed, and released.
Reintegration: Fragmented parts are reunited, creating a sense of wholeness.
This process often mirrors inner child work or reparenting, where we meet our younger selves with compassion, care, and acknowledgment.
We begin to reconnect with ourselves with acceptance and compassion and feel an increased capacity to reach out to life and feel supported by it too. Things feel less lonely. What a beautiful journey.
The Path Toward Connection
As self-blame eases and loneliness is addressed, space opens within the body-mind for authentic connection:
A stronger relationship with yourself, rooted in acceptance and compassion.
Greater openness to forming meaningful relationships.
A renewed sense of belonging to the world around you.
Recovery becomes less about "fixing" and more about reconnecting — with yourself, others, and the world.
You’re Not Alone
I offer 1:1 coaching and group programs created to support eating disorder recovery through somatic practices and psychedelic integration. Together, we can explore a path that leads to greater connection, self-compassion, and inner resiliency.
Whether you’re just starting or looking for deeper support, I’m here to walk alongside you with care, hope, and understanding. You are welcome to reach out to me to schedule a free 20-minute call to discuss ways of working together.
Photo by Matt Sclarandis on Unsplash