Microdosing on Psilocybin Mushrooms: Benefits for Eating Disorders, Anxiety and Depression
I have been working with the sacred plant medicines of psilocybin (“magic mushrooms”) for a few years to help me in my eating disorder recovery. Through the practice of microdosing, I have working with the mushrooms in small doses, on a frequent basis, with the intention to come into deeper connection with myself and to let go of maladaptive, addictive eating disorder strategies.
When I sat with this medicine for the first time in ceremonial macrodose form I intuitively knew that microdosing would be the key to a sustainable, steady and well-paced approach to my healing, as well as a powerful integration tool between larger doses.
I took up the self-practice of microdosing during a time in my life where I had made good headway in my recovery but I still felt disconnected and scared of being my own body. I also had repetitive eating disorder thoughts and was still obsessively managing my food and exercise more than I liked to admit. I was all up in my head, chronically anxious, low-key depressed, and unsure about my direction in life. I felt stressed for no real reason. I was resistant to rest. I was addicted to feeling ashamed. I was disembodied.
how did microdosing make me feel?
I found that on the days I microdosed, I felt greater ease and comfort in being in my body and more receptive to its needs and desires. The eating disorder voice was less intrusive and less incessant; she was quieter and I could also see that her demands were keeping me unhappy, anxious, and locked in a self-perpetuating, negative thinking-feeling loop. The mushrooms gave me a moment of space, a pause, around the oppressive eating disorder voice. This pause offered me the opportunity to respond rather than react and exist in the self-fulfilling prophecy of being on the auto-pilot of addiction.
Feeling the energies of these potent plant medicines in my body gave me moment after moment to align body, heart and mind: to come into true alignment and congruent embodiment. I felt revived, on purpose and inspired to shine in my life. This was a stark contrast to how I felt before microdosing which was dull and dim, numbed out from my body, emotions and the environment around me, without purpose or zest for life.
what does the research say on microdosing?
Since there is little evidence-based research on the benefits of microdosing, most of the information that is out there is self-reporting. There is a small and blossoming amount of research on psychedelic-assisted therapy for eating disorders. This work is being done at Imperial with Dr Meg Spriggs and Dr Robin Carhart-Harris, as well work by Dr Adele LaFrance with MAPS and Imperial. So just for curiosity sake, I have since been experimenting with microdosing with tracking to figure out if any of this is actually working.
There are many things one could track, but I wanted to hone in on eating disorder recovery (surprise!) and so I chose a number of variables that felt relevant and pertinent to what would provide feedback on my own recovery progress. Some of these measures I chose to include were if I ate a challenging food item or a meal that was prepared by someone else, the level of body checking, if I meditated that day, and my general mood. I also measured hours of sleep, if I laughed and if I shared a moment of gratitude during the day.
I have found that by tracking, I am shining a light on what I believe is important to me to be aware of and improve upon. Through this process of paying attention to what I am paying attention to, things inevitably begin to shift. Awareness is the first step in the healing process. I have so much to thank Laura Dawn for who is my microdosing mentor who has been such a light and a guide for me through this process of refining my practice of microdosing (aka the practice of presence!).
cultivating a practice around microdosing
Simply tracking my microdosing is not enough for me to dive deep into my healing process. Tracking is still fairly surface level and if one isn’t careful, can become a rigid practice - and we all know how much an eating disorder loves rigidity! ;)
Since my eating disorder likes to keep me small and cut off from the world (it is “safer” to disconnect than to be intimately connected with life), establishing a foundational microdosing flow that includes meditation, movement, breathwork and prayer has been key to touch in with the majesty of my own life and the world around me. Practicing presence, gratitude and offering myself as a channel of service for the medicine takes me out of my contracted eating disorder hole, and into another expansive, spacious dimension.
Showing up to these powerful sacred plant medicine teachers and asking how I can be of service has lead me to a profound yet simple (duh!) insight that I too am my own greatest teacher, and thus have the opportunity to serve myself. The practice of deep self-honouring of my body (aka temple), my energy, my feelings, and the space around me, moment-to-moment, has come through the simple question “how I can be of service?” when bowing to the mushroom wisdom teachers, the plant allies. As within so without. Indeed, what we feel and what we believe have a tendency to manifest in our lives.
Ultimately, microdosing is just pointing me in the direction of being present. It is through this practice of cultivating more presence, maintaining awareness, and being with this very moment, that recovery, growth and transformation happens. When am I not microdosing, how present am I? This is where the integration and magic occurs. It’s not actually about the medicine in the end. It’s about presence.
Image by Adya Nova
Microdosing for my own eating disorder recovery continues to be an interesting, on-going self-exploration. Through this practice I have established a deeper and more genuine connection to the sacred, I am more committed to my grounding and uplifting morning practices, and feel an overall sense of levity and spaciousness in my heart and mind. It will remain one of the many tools with my eating disorder recovery toolbox.
With gratitude,
Francesca Rose xxx
Kindly note: microdosing psychedelics is not for everyone. If you are interested in microdosing, please do research on the health risks and contraindications. There are also legal risks to be aware of. Dosage and frequency is dependent on person-to-person and also comes with considerations. Please empower yourself and do the research.
If you have questions, feel free to reach out to me.