Somatic Therapy for Eating Disorders

Finding ways to connect,

Rather than trying to be oh-so-perfect.

Remembering to listen to my body’s signs,

As direct guidance for my life’s design.

Always empowered to choose what I allow into my space,

And this takes practice, patience and pace.

Sometimes the feelings were just too much,

So my body disconnected and went out of touch.

My body has and will always know what to do;

It has carried my trauma so I could just get through, and this it will continue to do.

There is deep wisdom in these inherent workings,

I am grateful for my body’s constant ability to be adapting, assessing and reworking.

The somatic movements that my body makes

Is for the sake of my safety and so I welcome it all like a bird song at day break.

I take a breath. I offer my body nourishing rest, wholesome food, soulful community, and play so the signs I receive are clear and lead my on path’s highest way. I give thanks to this temple.

As a person who has experienced an eating disorder, learning to trust my body has been one of my greatest challenges. There was a point in my recovery journey where I realized that I had done all of this talking and cognitive analysis in therapy but was unable to just be in my body. I came to accept that if I wanted to heal from the eating disorder, the body (which I so feared), had to be included in the recovery process.

This insight propelled me into the world of somatic therapy. I started learning how the body, along with supportive external resources, has inner wisdom that is self-directing, self-connecting, and helps us unfold towards wholeness. By coming into contact with the body, breath, energy, emotions and thoughts, we can begin to see how we are doing moment to moment. And if done carefully, it is not as scary as one may think.

By bringing this information into the now, and holding it with compassion, healing can take place; indeed how the body is a resource and can be resourced is part of the the healing process from a somatic perspective.

From a somatic therapy lens, difficult life experiences contribute to patterns of tension in the body, whilst developing body awareness helps us access an internal source of wisdom that guides the healing process. And we engage more body awareness and healing movements at a pace that can be tolerated.

For people with eating disorders, the body is a scary place to be, and so the pace is slow so that one does not feel overwhelmed. I remember how I couldn’t even practice mindful breathing - it was just too triggering and upsetting. And so I see with my own clients, the body is a sensitive portal to enter. For some, there is a numbness or there isn’t a big enough language to describe what is going on.

By creating a safe space together, we learn how to build up our tolerance to hold and describe bigger emotions. But there’s no rush in this work. When there is trauma, there is a fear of what emotions are stirring beneath the surface and of one’s inner experience. To face trauma, we have to face what is uncomfortable. Everyone is ready at different times as resources, support and stability are built in accordance to the individual. Only once stability and safety are built internally and externally, can the trauma be processed.

First and foremost is creating the space between client and coach/therapist/mentor/loving human who is offering their attuned presence and an opportunity for the client to borrow their nervous system to practice co-regulation. From there, we develop conscious awareness of the somatic experience by paying attention to what the five senses, proprioception and interception are picking up on as it’s happening in the room, between the two parties, and inside oneself. This is the first step to deepening one’s embodiment.

As we strengthen the somatic resources through body awareness, conscious breathing, co-regulation, grounding techniques, empowerment, receiving support, building affect and sensation tolerance, and developing boundaries, we can come to understand the impact that the trauma had on the body, reclaim healing movement, have a somatic release, and then work on integrating this new body into the world.

For my own life, I cannot pinpoint a moment when there was a traumatic event in my childhood, but I can assume that there something (or multiple things) that contributed to my body picking up eating disorder behaviours as a way to cope. These behaviours kept me safe and in a state of defense against feeling my body and internal landscape, being present, and connecting with the world around me.

Over time, by building tolerance to hold bigger emotions and sensations through developing my own supports and resources; trusting that it’s safe to pause and feel what is going on inside of me and sense into sensations and emotions; and allowing myself to receive the messages from these emotions and sensations, my reliance on eating disorder behaviours organically faded as I have naturally matured out of them. This is because new tools, resources and ways of being in the world have been built, practiced and integrated into my life.

Ultimately, we learn how to become good at change. Eating disorders - and addictions - are perceived ways to control and keep things the same as a way to protect the individual. When we accept that the body is always changing, from a physical sensation to an emotion, we are able to ride the waves of changes that life fundamentally brings with greater ease.

Psychedelics, plant medicine and microdosing have been key allies in helping me get more in touch with what my body is trying to communicate with me. Since I have the pattern of numbing out or avoiding uncomfortable body sensations through the conditioning of the eating disorder, it is sometimes too easy to fall back into that way of existing. The sacred plant allies, Psilocybin and Ayahuasca, who I enjoy working with in small and large doses have been immensely helpful in getting me out of this particular rut and into feeling, honestly and compassionately.

Working with the body is an honour. It is the portal that remembers and transforms. Our body is our greatest work.

For those who are interested in working with me, I offer 1:1 sessions that focus on movement, mindfulness and/or medicine for greater embodiment, eating disorder and addiction recovery. Feel free to check out my offerings or contact me.

Photo by Maria Duda on Unsplash